Passing information from feline gaze to primate frontal cortex is no small feat but Ron the Russian has singled me out as the most susceptible human in the household. He is using his telepathic powers to ensure I enact his will.

At odds with current scientific consensus, he tells me he now needs a downstairs cat door as relations with our new puppy are faring no better. He remains cold and disdainfully aloof, unwilling to grace us with his presence in the warmth of upstairs.

Though the alarm sensors need changing to pet friendly ($$$) and a cat door is logistically difficult his ‘thought insertion’ has prompted me to action. The days are getting shorter, the neighbourhood is getting tougher and he is not getting any younger.

I have noticed a few more white hairs (he is a grey cat and can’t get any greyer) and he seems to be sleeping, eating and drinking more. It maybe my feminine intuition kicking in, rather than an unexplained mental phenomena, but telepathic or not he really could also do with his annual trip to the vet.

Telepathy or “thought insertion and removal” is yet to be understood. Linked to psychological concepts symptomatic of psychosis and schizophrenia it makes sense the common feline would be experts in this practice. One minute a cuddly bundle of snuggly sweet smelling fur, the next you’re detaching ten claws and a set of canines from a bleeding lower appendage.

Finding him, stuffing him in a cage then the distress of the trip makes me wonder whether the trauma (probably more to me than him) is worth it. Is this the reason we look after old dogs better than cats or is it more to do with cats having more subtle and secretive clinical symptoms?

There is a lot we have yet to learn about cats and the mystical aura which surrounds them but for the elderly cat’s sake use some ‘thought blockage’ techniques and get them booked in this month for their Grey Paws check.

With treatments as simple as a change in diet proven to expand the quality and length of your cat’s life a wellness examination prior to disaster befalling them is well worth the effort. Just try not to think about the cat cage.

Check out our Grey Paws service and get a 20% off senior discount (for your pet that is) until the end of June.